Sometimes, when people fully make contact, they look each other in the eye and see things finally falling into place.
Personally, as regards my own sobriety, I have always lived with my primary purpose first and foremost in mind. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens regarding that primary purpose without complete and total abstinence from alcohol and non-medically necessary and prescribed drugs.
Just taking the first free breath at a recovery meeting can be liberating. A second breath, at a Secular Recovery meeting, often involves an exhalation of words and phrases where both thought and expression is freed from any intimations of the divine and the implied restrictions, often encountered elsewhere, of someone else’s arbitrary list of “things to do” that may be vital for them but may be of no use to you.
My earliest experiences in recovery started the same way that most of these journeys begin, at a meeting. Going down a short flight of stairs into a very large church basement with smoke thickened air (it was, after all, early 1987 when there were still smoke-filled rooms) and seeing an old DC drinking buddy at the bottom of those stairs who immediately said, “What the fuck took you such a long time to get here?”
In Secular Recovery it can become possible, while never completely losing sight of it, to relegate our primary purpose to a secondary position while debating the future of the organization.